Wild River is a relaxing game where you float down the river collecting ammo, and then ejaculate it all over Kevin Bacon's face. And really, what better way is there to celebrate Kevin Bacon day?
The controls are backward from how you would expect them to be. For some reason a person paddling has the opposite effect in this game to how it would be in real life, so it will take some getting used to. Pressing the right key turns you left, and pressing the left key turns you right.
Make sure you collect lots of ammo on your way down the river, as you'll need it later. It takes 5 shots to get rid of each blockade, of which there are 2, and then either 25 or 26 to defeat Floating Kevin Bacon Head, plus any shots with which you miss.
Bacon Beater (25) - Defeat Kevin Bacon. Finish the game, basically.
Bacon-ator (50) - Beat the game in under 100 seconds. Finish the game, but